Alhamdulillah

sudah lama x menulis di blog ni. walaupun tiap2 hari tgk blog org, tp xde idea nk tulis di blog sendiri...

kehidupan bertambah baik pd tahun 2010 ini, Alhamdulillah, master dpt diselesaikan dgn sempurna. sebaik sahaja selesai master, dpt transfer ke MSU. tinggalkan ampang yg sudah 2 thn 6 bulan di situ, satu tempoh yg agak panjang juga dan bermcm2 pengalaman yg dpt. yg manis, pahit sume ade lahh...

then cume 3 months kat msu, dpt offer from uitm. bersyukur walaupun agak berat juga utk tinggalkan rumah. maklumlah x penah sewa rumah sejak dilahirkan. of koz la parents suruh pergi, utk masa depan dan secure apabila kerja dgn government. psl msu... bukan x best di situ, lg2 now dah pindah ke bangunan baru yg gah tu, but because of long term benefits, i decided to resign n move to uitm kuala pilah.

now, kerja sudah agak stabil, cumenya hati risau mengenangkan mak yg sakit di rumah. org kata, kalau duit byk pon x gune kalau mak x sihat. yup i admit. but mak encourages to accept this offer, so ikut lah cakap mak. kalau diizinkan ALLAH, nk bawa mak pg umrah bile mak dah sihat sket. mule2 nk g this month, tp sbb mak still x sihat, dicampur dgn keadaan kewangan yg tidak mengizinkan, x dpt pg bulan ni. mudah2an akhir tahan ni, mak sihat dah dpt pg ke rumah ALLAH. Ameen...

down

1. where to start?

2. where to go?

2. when?

3. end up?

all those questions are killing me all the time.

hope Allah shows His petunjuk n hidayah

gimme strength, gimme hope

semoga ALLAH permudahkan segala-galanya.

Amin Ya Rabbal 'Alamin.....

exciting!

aku sedang berkobar-kobar melakukan sesuatu.... semoga ianya membuahkan hasil... dan dipermudahkan oleh Allah swt... Ameen Ya Rabbal 'Allamin...

yang pasti satu semangat baru dah absorb dlm diri aku dan ianya semakin berkobar-kobar... Alhamdulillah syukur kpd-Nya. semoga semangat ini takan padam selagi tidak menampakan hasilnya.

I hope 2010 will change my life. Ameen...

New Year 2010

Today is the first day of 2010. 010110- such a nice number is it...

not much i wanted to say... just hoping that this year will change my way of life. that's all. i think i do not have exactly new 'azam'. my only hope is my life will getting better than yesterday. and happy with people surronding me.

and mum, please get well soon... nothing in this world can replace mum....

semoga ALLAH permudahkan segala urusanku....
Ameen....

kisah best dan kisah tak best

lame gile x post any entry since raye aritu. sbb kalau tgk based on previous post, sume entry mcm kisah2 gembira saje. jarang aku nk share kisah2 dalaman ni dgn org. sendiri tanggung la...

so, mungkin sbb after raye hr tu dah x brape nk gembira hidup ini, aku stop la xtvt2 blogging ni.
ade byk kisah2 yg melakar sejarah dlm hidup aku sejak raya aritu. ade yg gembira ade yg x best.
yg bestnye, aku dah officially grade my master. dan dlm byk2 batch aku, cume aku n zarina yg every sem dpt 4 flat tu je yg grade on time. mungkin sbb ktorg ni single lg kot, so xde komitmen yg lain... hehe... yahoooooooo. bulan 5 ni konvo! yessss, konvo again. nmpknye pentas dewan seri budiman tu 3 kali la menyaksikan aku naik pentas amek scroll. sekali masa diploma dulu, 2nd time ms degree, n bulan 5 ni utk master. maybe kalau ade rezeki smbg blaja lg, aku akan pastikan aku naik pentas lain pulak. cukupla 3 kali kat DSB tuh.

so, satu2nya azam utk thn 2009 dah tercapai. mission accomplished!

yg xbesnye adalah disebabkan aku terpaksa bertungkus lumus siapkan paper aku tuh. emmm, mls nk cite pjg2 psl yg xbes ni.

lg satu kisah sedih yg sedang aku hadapi ialah mak aku tgh sakit. sebenarnya die dah sakit dr bulan 5 lg, tp ms bulan puasa tu nmpk makin teruk... n las2 dah diagnose ade lung cancer stage 4. YA ALLAH, sembuhkan penyakit mak.... ok sbb kisah ni pun sudah pasti bukan kisah yg menggembirakan so cukuplah psl tu...

cume 1 je yg buat aku kdg2 rs bersalah. bile slalu kene excuse dr ofis sbb kena bwk mak g hospital. n bile aku x le nk concentrate dgn keja2 aku disebabkan terlalu risau. mmg la org slalu ckp aku ni nmpk mcm org muke xde perasaan, every single thing happen, muke aku mcm wat bodo je, sbb aku x suke mengcomplicated hidup aku dgn problem2 ni, tp when it comes to mum, aku rs sume org pon paham. so no need further explaination.

oh ye, 2009 dah nk abes. aku akan pikirkan ape azam utk 2010 ni...

selamat hari raya

it's been a month i x update blog ni. alasan stndard ->BZ
puasa n raya thn ni bole la.. bes la gak
dpt rm2 je duit raye. singgit dr ayah, singgit dr maklong.
kakak aku pun dah tammo bg duit raye lg, ayah pun same. no provision for me. cesss
raye thn ni, 5 hari dok kat kampung. sehari b4 raye sampai la raye ke-5... okla bes gak
tp x bestnye, org raye, kene tgl sorg2 kat umh. kene siapkan thesis yg makin byk buat, makin byk x paham n makin byk keje. aiyoyoyo, lg beberape hari je lg nk kene submit ni. x sampai sebulan lagi
adoiiiiiiii
so, dpt pakai bj raye 1 je, tu pun ms hr raye pertame, then pas sesi slm2 n bg duit raye. terus tukar baju. x dpt nk melaram dgn bj2 raye...
lg,,, thn ni cume ry 4 buah umh je, kg ayah, kg mak, umh pakcik blkg umh nenek tu dgn umh auntie. tu je. yg lain x ikut pun org beraye.
hmmm,,, hr isnin n selase ni i keje, then cuti siapkan thesis. tatau la siap ke x, kalau x, extend la jwbnye.. tammo tp kalau dah takdir tiada sapa mampu melawanya kan. heheh
ni ade sket2 gambar raye, tgk la, kalau tanak tgk pun xpe...
ops lupe tujuan asal, selamat hari raya aidilfitri maaf zahir batin dari saya sekeluarga

thesis

time shown at 1:42am...

i donno to talk to who, because i noe no what want to hear...
so i think it's a good way i talk to my blog. i don hv a diary, perhaps this blog will replace diary instead to...

i am SICK of all these. i sometimes fed-up with doing something that i donno what is the outcome would be. if it will give a positive result, then Alhamdulillah. but what if it wouldnt?
i had sacrificed a lot. just to make sure i can settle all this on time, by the end of this year probably. but looking at the way how i commit to my work, i dont think it would happen. i need change i think. but i dont have enough strength to.

i forgone better offer just because of this. just imagine how i can just let go the offer, very near to my house plus a payment is one times more. people may said that i am greedy, ungrateful or so on, but i did istikharah and ask God to show me the way. and i really hope this sacrificed will rewards soon. rewards in term of what? only i know what i want in my life. no one would understand me. i have had enough of peeps who said so-many thing about what i was choosen. but i am very thankful to all peeps who shows their care-ness to me. i know i need all of u. i need ur advise and opinion. thank you so much people.

enough said about it, now, i shouldnt looking at the back. what i have to do is, FACE it on because i am the one who made a decision for myself. it one thing that i hate to do. sometimes, i always hope that i can be like a kids, much less responsibilities, everthing decided for me and everything provided for me. no need to go outside and exploring something mysteries and at the end, end up with nothing. hahaha. but it would never ever happen. i am 26 years old already. have to keep it on my mind. i can imagine if everything was decided for me, i would end-up my life in jail. or otherwise, rumah org gile. hahahaha

so, FOCUS on what i am doing right now, its only a few weeks left and i need to settle everything. it is the promise to myself. my really hope, everything will goes well. n i will get what i want. insyaALLAH.

2:08am (better go to sleep, otherwise i will sleepy while lecturing)