thesis

time shown at 1:42am...

i donno to talk to who, because i noe no what want to hear...
so i think it's a good way i talk to my blog. i don hv a diary, perhaps this blog will replace diary instead to...

i am SICK of all these. i sometimes fed-up with doing something that i donno what is the outcome would be. if it will give a positive result, then Alhamdulillah. but what if it wouldnt?
i had sacrificed a lot. just to make sure i can settle all this on time, by the end of this year probably. but looking at the way how i commit to my work, i dont think it would happen. i need change i think. but i dont have enough strength to.

i forgone better offer just because of this. just imagine how i can just let go the offer, very near to my house plus a payment is one times more. people may said that i am greedy, ungrateful or so on, but i did istikharah and ask God to show me the way. and i really hope this sacrificed will rewards soon. rewards in term of what? only i know what i want in my life. no one would understand me. i have had enough of peeps who said so-many thing about what i was choosen. but i am very thankful to all peeps who shows their care-ness to me. i know i need all of u. i need ur advise and opinion. thank you so much people.

enough said about it, now, i shouldnt looking at the back. what i have to do is, FACE it on because i am the one who made a decision for myself. it one thing that i hate to do. sometimes, i always hope that i can be like a kids, much less responsibilities, everthing decided for me and everything provided for me. no need to go outside and exploring something mysteries and at the end, end up with nothing. hahaha. but it would never ever happen. i am 26 years old already. have to keep it on my mind. i can imagine if everything was decided for me, i would end-up my life in jail. or otherwise, rumah org gile. hahahaha

so, FOCUS on what i am doing right now, its only a few weeks left and i need to settle everything. it is the promise to myself. my really hope, everything will goes well. n i will get what i want. insyaALLAH.

2:08am (better go to sleep, otherwise i will sleepy while lecturing)